Jonathan Gross

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Critical Crotchety Theory

I am spending way more time in the drug store than I am on the ski hills these days. Having said that, the winter solstice was managed in the ‘Land of Our People’ so I got just one day on the slopes with my daughter during a visit home in February. It was liberating although I almost needed assistance boarding the aircraft the next day.
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Inbox. Outbox. Deadbox

I had kind of prepared this piece earlier this year as a take on spring cleaning but that season kind of came and went. I worked up something about the parallels to Passover and the ritual cleaning of a Jewish home prior to the holiday. I brought in for flavor the Iranian Nowruz, or new year, which is said to include traditional ‘shaking’ of the house. 
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Fourteen Days In The Hole – The View from Solitary.

The morning sun in Miami Beach was hot, Cool Hand Luke work gang hot. I was into the metaphor so I asked the woman driving the Uber to the Con Air hangar to soap up and slap herself up against the windshield. There was a big tip in it for her. Told her I was going upstate for a bid. She wasn’t into it and forced me out of the car at gunpoint. Forgot about the Stand Your Ground and Open Carry laws in Florida. She screamed something to me in Spanish about my plummeting passenger rating but I didn’t care. I was going away. For a long time.
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